For always we will go on beyond good bye

Some memories of happiness are not easy to forget

Cause every time other people ask about you

I will smile and say.....

Never thought I would meet you before

You brought love to my life 

Through your affection you were telling me

There would be happily ever after

Looked at your face again

I still found out that.....

You were the chord in every music I played

You were the rythm in every dance I performed

You were the crayons in every painting I drew

You were the words in every poetry I wrote

You led every step we took into the horizon of happiness

A few years passed.....

The sun warmed the whole earth in summer

The rain showered all flowers in spring

The yellow leaves fell in autumn

The freezing snow covered all the ground in winter

We kept our every moment in happiness

I locked them deep inside my heart

Our goodbye seemed like yesterday

I never regret spending time with you

Took all  the pain with me

Held all the tears of my loneliness

Still never forget sending prayers through the wind

No matter where you are, whom you are with

There's nothing else but happiness

There's more to love than only bitterness and lies

Life is full of surprises. Sometimes you will find out, it is full of happiness, but the other times, you might find out, it is full of bitterness.

Here I was, hiding inside my dark room. I remembered, Anna, my best friend, she told me, "You should move on, don't look at the past, one day you'll find someone who is right for you."

It was easy for her to say that, cause she doesn't know how it feels when I lost someone who I really cared about. It's hurt me badly. It has been a few months, I lost contact with him,

Suddenly my cell was ringing. Noel calling.....He said, he wanted to see me.

Almost twilight I was sitting in the cafe, waiting for Noel. Not long after that, Noel came. He looked different now. More matured. I had to admit it.

"How are you?" he asked me first.

"As you can see, I am alright, how bout you?"

"Just okay" he replied, "Congratulation by the way for your scholarship."

"Thank you."

There was a silence between us for a moment. It was a really awkward moment. We were so close for a long time and now both of us are just like strangers.

"When are you gonna go to Japan?" He tried  to continue our conversation.

"This sunday."

We ate our food in silence. He looked kind of nervous.

"What do you want to talk about?" I asked him.

"Connie.....I've told you once, if we broke up, i can get another girl easily, another one who is much better than you. But I was wrong. I wanna us to be together again." He tried to hold my hand.

I pulled my hand back, "What is wrong with you,  Noel?"

"I mean it," He wanted to convince me.

"Don't be like this Noel, you did this only cause you felt guilty for what you have done to me," I said quietly

"It's not like that, I really mean it." He looked so disappointed. "I wanna us to be together, not cause I feel guilty, but cause I finally realized, there's no one as good as you are and I still love you as much as the first time we were in relationship."

He gave me a purple box. He still remembered my favorite colour.

"Just think about it, please? I'll wait for you at the airport, can you give me the answer before leaving for Japan?" He put the box on my right palm, "Wear it if you say yes......"

"I'll think about it." I put the box in my bag.

Sunday at the airport. He smiled at me, "So........???"

I glanced at him. He stared at my neck. I was wearing a purple scarf.

He bowed sluggishly, "I get it........."

"Noel........."

"Hhhmmm........."

"Can you untie my scarf, please?" He put his arms around my neck and untied my scarf.

"CONNIE!!! Gosh, you almost made me get a heart attack......." I blushed. He could see that I was wearing a necklace with two rings on it, the one that he gave me the other day in the cafe.

"Three years is a long time. You have to wait for two years. Can you make it?"

"I will always try my best. Don't be a naughty girl in Japan, when you are back here, I wanna you to put one of those ring on  my finger." He kissed my forehead affectionately. I was drowning in his arms.

Three Years later.....

I got this short message on my cell:

"What date are you coming home? Everyone missed you alot here, especially ME"

I touched the rings on my necklace. I smiled........

 Like the sound of silence calling,

 I hear your voice and suddenly

 I'm falling, lost in a dream.

 Like the echoes of our souls are meeting,

You say those words and my heart stops beating.

 I wonder what it means.

What could it be that comes over me?

At times I can't move.

At times I can hardly breathe.

When you say you love me

The world goes still, so still inside and

When you say you love me

For a moment, there's no one else alive

(JOSH GROBAN)

 

Puoi solo dire, che piu ti fa soffrire, piu ancora l'amerai *

*All you'll know for sure is the more she/he makes you suffer, the more you find you love her/him

Everyday my heart aches

Everyday my tears fall

Everyday my mind is empty

Zillion memories of us

Following the traces of our love 

Still I can hear your tender voice

Still I can feel your warm touch

Still I can see your sparkling eyes

Wanting to stay

Forcing not to move

Hoping you might come back someday

Helplessly leaning on nowhere

If I could turn back the time

If I could love you again

If I could give my heart one more time

Surrendering my wishful dream

Ignoring my feelings 

Resisting my longing 

Erasing my memory

But my heart betrayed me

Please don't go

Don't leave me alone

Don't make me cry in pain

Hearing the echoes of my scream

Tempus fugit, non autem memoria (Time flies, but not memory)

Now I am going to leave you with a short paragraph that my favorite author "Ika Natassa" wrote on one of her novel "Anthology of Feelings" last November 2011 (She got this text from her best friend on new year eve a couple of years ago) and I hope this will lead you to do something that will change your life forever, like it did hers and probably mine too.........

"As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts. You'll fight with your best friends or maybe even fall in love with them and you'll cry because time is flying by.

So take lots of pictures, laugh a lot, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. You just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone's hand, comfort a friend in need, fall asleep wathing the sun come up, stay up late, and smile until your face hurts.

Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, LIVE IN THE MOMENT because every second you spend angry or upset is second of happiness you can never get back."

So guys.......I wanna thank you for a lot of things during our friendship and all the time we have spent together.......

"for being the best of friends anybody could have, for listening and comforting me with your words, for laughing with me whenever shit happens, for understanding me like a friend that knows me for more than you have, for always believing in me, for sharing our silliness, for your calmness and patience, for our conversations about nothing and everything"

Cuivis dolori remedium est patientia (Patience is the cure of all suffering)

Screaming I love you 

That’s what my mind keeps on telling me

Shouting I love you

That’s what my heart wants you to know it

Saying I love you

That’s what my lips can't say to you

It aches every minute

It’s hard to breathe

It feels so freezing

Drowning in emptiness

Torturing my little world

Never thought that I would love you like this

I'm standing here

Like a pieces of a broken glass

My eyes can't hide the pain

Cause I can't let you out of my heart

Even without your promise in return

Gazing at you, without a single word

Need to erase you 

Need to remove you

Need to send you away

Need to forget you

But you've been engraved in my heart

You've etched in my memory

For the love is so exhausting

Makes me afraid to face the days

For the feeling is so bitter

Makes me break into flowing tears

With my parched lips

Still I called your name again in silence

Give Thanks For A Lttle And You Will Find Alot

     "Your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!" ~ Matthew  7:11

God the Almighty has given everything  to us before we ask it from Him.

Take a look  around you. 

Look at the plants, animals, and other human beings.

The earth and sun. 

The moon and stars.

Did you realize that God the Almighty gave them all for free?

God created all of them for the happiness and welfare of human beings.

What does God expect from us?

First, we are expected to cultivate, nurture, preserve all of God's creations.

We should care for and do something about the nature  so that the earth can be a comfortable place to live.

Second, we are expected to ask while working.

Such as The farmers who ask for good harvests while continuing to plant and care for.

We work together with God for the good of our fellows.

Therefore we ask for His grace so we can  be able to take part in His loving works.

We plead that all the things that we do are always blessed and bring prosperity to others.

"Dear God.....

We thank you for equipping  us with all the capabilities so we could live well in this world.

Teach us to use all those capabilities in our work and this way we would like to praise and glorify thee.

Amen."

The sky isn't always blue and the sun doesn't always shine

Do you remember?

Those days when our love was beautiful

When you are the only one who made me smile

Like blooming flowers in the dry desert

Do you remember?

Those days when i was thinking of you everyday

Even when I closed my eyes

Like seeing fireflies in the day light

Do you remember?

Those days when you looked at me with love

Saying "It's me in you and You are in me"

Like writing poetry in heaven

Do you remember?

Those days when you kissed me tenderly

Made me trembling in your arms

Like paralyzing all the nerves

Do you remember?

That day when you left me here

Our journey that never reached the destination

Like leaves drifting in the river

I will remember

I was drowning in thought of you

Knowing that you  are still in my heart

May the wind  let him know this longing

There's the love I could not ignore.....

When you feel weary

With all of your burdens

There beside you, I will be

When you feel exhausted

With all of your endeavours

There beside you, I will be

When you feel you are not tough enough

To go on and wish to surrender

There beside you, I will be

When you feel frustrated

Because all beyond your limits

There beside you, I will be

When you have to face your fate

With nothing but empty hands

There beside you , I will be

Cause the love that is guarded in my heart

Finally found you, my other half

The one I've been searching for

Cause the love that is hidden in my mind

Finally found you, my missing part of me

The one I'll keep by my side

Let me the one to love you more

I walked along the beach. I could see my footprints had been swept away by waves. Maybe, that's  what I should do, let your shadow slowly fade away fr my heart. I took a deep breath. I kept telling myself it's the right thing to do.

I was supposed to meet Jasmine here. I looked around and I could see someone smiled at me near the coconut tree. I walked toward her, tried to smile to her.

"Sunny!! Hey......" She kissed my cheeks.

"Jasmine....." I kissed her back. "Thanx for coming. I need to talk to you....."

"What's wrong? You look weird....."

"I've decided to give up," I said in trembling voice.

"Sunny........??? But why???"

"It's not cause of you but it's about me. I'm really weary....." I looked the other way, not daring to look at her.

"You can't give up just like that. You have promised me that we'll compete fairy until he decides who he really loves between us."

"Do you really want to wait that day will come? Aren't you afraid, Jasmine?"

"I am afraid. I am....."

"You are my best friend and he's the one I love. I don't wanna make it difficult for three of us again.....That's  why I should give up"

I remembered three months ago, when Jasmine told me something about Farrel.....

"Sunny....., I've fallen for Farrel....." Jasmine looked at me with guilty feeling.

"I know.....I realized it before u told me. The way you look at him, everything that you do for him, showing how much u love him. I just refused to face it."

"Why aren't you mad at me for betraying my best friend?"

"I don't blame you cause we never know who we will fall in love with....."

And now......

I took a deep breath again, "Only one of us can be with Farrel.....And that person is not me. It is you......"

"Why did you say that? I can see Farrel likes you too He looks so comfy when he's with you."

"Maybe it's true he likes me, but it's only between friends cause he knows me for long time."

"Sunny......."

"I really don't blame you. Love is indeed selfish and I know you can make him happy."

"I'm so sorry......" She burst into tears.

"That's all I wanna say. Let's go home now, almost twilight. I'll take this way and you'll take that way. No turning back.No tears between us."

"Sunny......" Jasmine embraced me tight.

I was running along the beach, covering my mouth with my hand, hoping no one would hear my cries.I wish to applaud my courage for saying all those words to Jasmine. But I know very well, I'm not ready to face this decision, so I only can run, as far as possible.....

I sighed........

                 Don't go, you know you will break my heart

                            She won't love you like I will

                  I'm the one who'll stay when she walks away

                        And you know I'll be standing here still

                    I'll be waiting for you here inside my heart

                      I'm the one who wants to love you more

                                              (Celine Dion)

Will you make up your mind before you shut the door?

One scene between Jung and Tara

Have you ever seen stars through a telescope? It's just like the stars are very close and you can touch them with your hand, but actually they are so far away. That's what Tara feels when she look at Jung. They talk and care for each other, but somehow she knew he will leave someday.

"What's wrong?" He said while holding her face with his hands.

"Nope. Nothing......Why?" She smiled.

"You seems.....I don't know, kinda sad, kinda thinking of something......"

"Nahhh......" she put her head on his chest and held him tight.

"Don't worry, ok?  Everything is gonna be just fine. I just need some times to fix everything," He stroked her hair.

"I know......"

                      I’ve been spendin’ all my time just thinkin’ bout you.

                      I don’t know what to do; I think I’m fallin’ for you.

                      I’ve been waitin’ all my life and now I’ve found you.

                      I don’t know what to do; I think I’m fallin’ for you, I’m fallin for you.

                      (Colbie Caillat)

One scene between Tara and her best friend

It's true when you are in love sometimes you don't know what's wrong and what's right.

"You know he has a girlfriend, right? Don't do anything that you already know is wrong."

"I know, but I.....you don't know how it feels. And He's not married yet, when you are in relationship you still have a chance to choose who's the best one for you, right?"

"True. But still wrong thing to do! Open your eyes, you are beautiful.....There's someone out there who will love you wholehearted. Please stop it, before it goes too deep."

I can only shake my head.

                      When your love is pouring like the rain

                      When will I get the chance to say I love you

                      If only I could get through this

                      God, God gotta help me get through this

                      (Daniel Bedingfield)

One scene between Jung and his girl friend

"Did she flirt you first?"

He was silent. No. He was the one who flirted Tara first, but he couldn't say it.

"Why can't she find another guy who is free?!! Why did she have to bother other girl's boy friend?!!

"Vivian, please......"

"WHAT! You wanna stand for her now?"

"Promise me, Jung, you won't see her again.....Just keep loving me" She begged in tears.

                       I've never thought you'll be in my life

                       I regret our story will be like this

                       When I'm already with someone else

                       Please forgive me for hurting you cause i fell  in two hearts

                       (Afgan)

Once again another scene between Jung and Tara

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away and when he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

Tara opened her facebook and saw Jung's status : Engaged to Vivian

"Did you propose her?"

"I did"

All done now.....She didn't know anymore how to retain him there.

"Why?.....It's so sudden....."

"Not at all. I've been thinking enough about it."

Jung had to choose and he chose Vivian, not Tara. And everything should be end now.

"Oh well, congrats then....."

"Thanx Tara....."

Her heart was hurt badly. She couldn't say goodbye yet. She wanted to scream "Don't say goodbye to me now." She didn't know what break up is, so many stories between them, so many memories.

                       I could spend my life in this sweet surrender

                       I could stay lost in this moment forever

                       Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure

                       I just wanna stay with you in this moment forever and ever

                       (Aerosmith)

One year later 

Even if everyone blamed and cursed their love, divided their hearts apart, they didn't regret it, one love that they ever had before. And it's been a year Tara hasn't heard any news from Jung. There's still a big hole inside her heart.

Somewhere out there, Jung just realized that's the big hole inside his heart was getting bigger and bigger. Hoping there's a way back for himself and Tara.

                       It''s okay even if I am blind, even if I can't breathe

                       If I could just see you one more time

                       How much more do I have to miss you?

                       Is it a punishment of loving you too much?               

                       (SNSD)