Me.....
Today I decided to leave him. I don't know where. Meanwhile it was raining outside, rain was getting heavy. I was having a party with rain and tears. Deep down in my heart I still have hope, he might come after me, asking me not to leave. But hope was just hope. Still I can hear what he said....."I'm trying but I still can't love you," My love is only a one side love, no matter how long we have been together.
Him.....
Its true that I felt relieved when finally I can be honest with her. Feelings can't be forced, right?
But only a few minutes after she left. I realized there's something empty inside my heart. Her, she is my girl, the one tough girl that I know. she is as good as an angel, but I still can't love her. I kept comparing her with other girls. She's not pretty enough. She's not girlie enough. She's not hot enough. But look at her, she has no chance defending herself. She showed no emotions in her face, I ignored her when sometimes I saw pain in her eyes.
Days have passed, I feel empty inside. No matter what, we used to be together.
Me.....
For me, he is my prince charming. I care about him a lot but what did i get? Can't he learn a little bit to love me? I'm still an ordinary human being. I'm not an angel. I feel disappointed, sad, empty and mad because I was being ignored. God, if I can ask You to take away my feelings so I don't have to feel this painfully.....
Him.....
Tonight for the first time I feel I really missed her. I want her to be here by my side. How could I let her go? I missed her laugh when I told her some jokes. I missed her asking me....how's work, hun?, Tired, hun?, I miss you, hun., I love you, hun. I missed when she was mad at me because of how messed up I am.
I opened her blog and the first line that she wrote is "The one i gave my heart to". All her stories about me. Gosh, I wanna curse myself a million times for being bad to her.
Where are you? .....Don't you wanna come home? Do I still have a second chance?
Me.....
He didn't try to find me, while I missed him desperately here. I'm worried about him.
Are you healthy, my love? Have you had your meal, hun? Were you tired at work, hun? And .....don't you remember me?
I still hope one day when I open the door, I'll find you there, pulling me closer and embracing me. But the rain won't stop yet. Do I still have a chance to see a rainbow out there?
Him.....
"Because you hold me up so high, give yourself with no condition. Because you guide me when i'm stumbling in the dark. You hear what's deep inside, when i need you there to listen, you're the one who won my heart"
You never give up reaching for me, right?????
Sometimes in life, we ask God to give us what we want, but He knows exactly what we need. We often ask Him to find someone that fit us in anyway, but somehow He lets us meet certain people, letting us be together, there's must be a reason for that. Maybe He wants us to learn how to love sincerely with no conditions.
*To combine a true story and fiction is hard indeed, but I did it eventually*
