Just turn around and you'll find me.....

Being blind, Dian didn't want it, but it happened when she was sixteen. She was lonely, and she had gotten used to it by now. The doctor said she had "Closed-angle glaucoma" when she was fifteen. Closed-angle glaucoma  is an eye disease in which the optic nerve is damaged in a characteristic pattern, the cause of her permanent blindness. She lost her friends one by one. She knew she couldn't depend on other people. So she had to learn to do everything by herself.

She chose to stay with her aunt in a village after her 17th birthday. It's been six months now. She helps her aunt in making handicrafts of rattan. Her aunt doesnt have any children, she treats Dian like her own daughter. 

"Dian, honey, here is doctor Yudi. He'll stay with us from now on." Her aunt pulled her hand.

"Hello, I am Yudi, nice to meet you."

                                                                     ***

Yudi tried to find the address after reporting to the village hall that he was going to be the new doctor who was in charge of this village for two years. He met a woman called Mrs. Gamis. Very friendly one, she reminds him of his mom. She showed him his room and introduced him to some people in her house, including her niece. She's pale, but can't hide her beauty."I'm Dian, nice to meet you too, doc." She tried to shake his hand.

Yudi suddenly just realized, the girl who was standing in front of him and smiling at him was a blind girl.

    

                                                                     ***

Two months passed. Yudi was so busy with his job. He was the only doctor in this small village. Sunday morning, he just finished jogging and went home. He saw Dian who was watering the flowers in the front yard. After two months, he still didn't have many chances to talk to Dian. Several times Mrs. gamis invited him to have dinner together, he found out that Dian was so quiet. She only talked when someone asked her a question.

"Hey!" He poked her shoulder.

She looked surprised, turned around, "Good morning, doc."

"Hhmm Dian, what are you gonna do today?"

"I'm just gonna be at home as usual."

"I'm wondering if you would like to accompany me to the beach. People keep saying this village has a beautiful beach, but I havent had a chance to see it."

"Hhmm....I can't...." She tried to go into the house.

"Why can't you?" I held her hand.

"I just can't...."

"Dian.... it's not a bad thing to go out for awhile. You've just stayed inside the house since you moved here. Look at you, your face is so pale sweetie. You need that sunlight and it's out there. Go to the beach with doctor Yudi." Suddenly Mrs. Gamis was there.

"Auntie....I....."

"Consider it as you being a nice host to our guest. Accompany doctor Yudi to the beach.....ok?"

"It's okay Mrs. Gamis...." Yudi didn't want to force her.

                                                                      ***

Dian knew her aunt didnt want her to be alone all the time, so she decided to be friends with Yudi. Dian couldn't count how many times she'd spent her times with Yudi at this beach. Dian sat on te beach. Yudi looked at her pale face. He felt happy cause he could spend almost all of his sunday with Dian like this at the beach.

"Don't keep looking at me!" Dian said and suddely surprising Yudi.

"I don't...." Yudi turned his face and pretending to look some place else.

"Don't lie, I may be blind, but I can feel it when you are looking at me," Dian said again.

Yudi looked at her again.

"I'm serious. I'm afraid you might like me, " Dian said, standing up.

"How about if I already like you?" Yudi asked while reaching her hand.

"Don't!"

"why?"

"Cause I'm not good for your future, " She said while closing her eyes.

"You'll never know what will happen in the future, " Yudi said.

Yudi wanted to hold her in his arms when he saw tears welling in her eyes. He wiped them away.

"Don't waste your future for someone blind like me..." Dian couldn't finish her words, Yudi already embraced her. Dian was stunned, she thought she was dreaming, but she could smell his scent. And Dian realized, it was real, not just a dream. She was holding him back.

                                                                      ***

Last night, Neither Yudi nor Dian could sleep at all. It's already been two years, this morning Yudi had to go back to his town. It was not easy for Yudi to leave Dian there.

"Yudi, will we meet again?" Dian tried not to look sad.

"Definetely!"  Yudi said.

Dian gave him her MP3, "You should return it to me when you come back here...."

                                                                      ***

"Hello?"

"Doctor Yudi?"

"Yes. Who is this?"

"I'm Mrs. Gamis...."

"Oh! Mrs. Gamis, how are you?"

"Hhmm, doctor Yudi, did u promise something to Dian?"

"Hhmm, yes...." Yudi was confused.

"Doctor Yudi, I just wanted to give you her message, " Said Mrs. Gamis. "She said sorry for not keeping her promise"

"What do you mean?"

"Dian just passed away this afternoon," Said Mrs. Gamis and Yudi could feel like his heart stopped beating.

"How....?" Yudi asked.

"She had an accident on her way to the beach...."Yudi was speechless.

"I think, her last wish was wanting to meet you..." She said again.

                                                                    ***

A year passed. Yudi was listening to his MP3. He could her Dian's voice there.

"Yudi, thank you for being here with me, Thank you for accepting me for who I am. You are the one true miracle of my life and I am glad that I could meet you. I just wanna say...I do love you." 

                                                   "It's alright even if I am blind

                                                It's alright even if I couldn't breathe

                                               If I could just see you one more time

                                               If I could just give you all of my heart

                                              How much more do I have to miss you"                                             

                                                (Seohyun - Apa do  gwaenchanayo) 

If you have enthusiasm, you have a very dynamic, effective companion to travel with you on the road to Somewhere.

Everyday we are always busy with so many activities, sometimes we need to stay away from it for awhile. Vacation, for some people is not a big matter, but do you know that vacation is very important? Cause vacation can release your stress, can enrich your soul, can open your mind, can be more confident and phisically can make you healthier. So why don't we plan our vacation and save some money for it.

I rarely go on vacation everytime I have my school break, I mostly go to a mall, but its not a vacation that I have in my mind, going to some places where I can see and feel directly with nature and outdoor things. Thank God, last year I could feel that kind of experiences.

Arus Liar, Citarik - West of Java
You can go camping here, have the experience of cathcing fish in fishpond, do outbound activities, play paintball, go hiking through rubber plantation, go rafting and enjoy all the beautiful view around the river there.

Sumbawa Besar, Southeast of west Nusa
This is my mom's hometown, I was so excited cause I got a chance to see her hometown. Small city but it has beautiful beaches, just too bad the goverment hasn't explored them to be tourism objects.

Bali Island   
Almost all people in the world may know this island, such a miraculous place with so many beautiful views and cultures. This time, I got a chance to go to Benoa and tried some water activities there like parasailing, diving, and flying fish. I visited some pretty beaches like Kuta, Padang Padang, Dream land. I saw traditional dance "Kecak" in Uluwatu. I had dinner at Jimbaran beach. If I got another chance, I wanna go back to this island again.

Yogyakarta
Known as a city of students. I visited the amazing Borobudur and Prambanan temples. I had a chance to see the Sultan Palace and heard all the stories that happened there. I did rafting through Pindul cave, and jumped into the river from 5 meters high. I wish I could see some beautiful beaches in Yogyakarta next time.

Pulau Seribu, North of Jakarta
A lot of islands here are already known as tourism objects. I visited one of them, called  Pantara island. I had other experiences in water activities here like canoeing, snorkeling and jet skiing. I could enjoy eating seafood everyday, my favorite food. Enjoyed the beauty of sunrise and sunset at the beach.

Bandung, west of Java
I've visited this city several times, but mostly I only enjoyed the culinary tour.  This time I got a chance to visit Tangkuban Perahu mountain, unbelievable view, I could hike to the edge of crater and see the hot water springs. I also visited White crater and Patenggang lake in west part of Bandung.

All of those amazing places made me realize how beautiful Indonesia is and I feel lucky cause I got a chance to see some of them. I hope, I still have other opportunities to see other places in other parts of Indonesia.

Like

And I remember everything the way it used to be.....

When the night comes

I close my eyes 

I could feel my tears

You are always the reason

Even when the moon is so bright

You are the only light in my sky

When the day comes

Every inch I move

Every second I count

They always remind me of you

Even when the sun is so shiny

I couldn't find somewhere else to go

When the rain comes

For every breath I take

In every beat of my heart

The memories of you keep following me

Even when it's so blurry outside

I remember clearly, everything the way it used to be

If you could hold my hand like you did before

If you could embrace me one more time

If I could feel your tender kiss again

If I could see your face just once

Could we go back to the time when we were together?

When we used to be so crazily in love 

Gone But Not Forgotten

You said
Beside the darkness above the night sky

You still can see the stars
But when I looked at you
You were the only star I could see


You said

Its not only water that flows down from the sky

Rain has also captured so many stories in this earth

But when I tried to read it

The only story I could find was about you and me

You said

The clouds will clear 

And the sun will shine on us again
But the warm, the bright light from you
It's the only wonderful chapter in my life

You said
I might not have the strength to leave you

Cause being with you is the only reason I live

But destiny has a power to make us apart

And my days passed in deeply longing of you

You said

Between all the bittersweet of us

I feel grateful and blessed to be with someone like you

But we all must continue on

To where we are today and tomorrow

"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”

Mario teguh is one of the famous motivator in Indonesia and when i read one of his motivations of life, he asked anyone who has read it to share it to others and that's why i tried to translate it for all of my beloved friends on facebook.

LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL

I learned silence from too much talking.

I learned patience from an anger.

I learned to beat from selfishness.

I learned to cry from happiness.

I learned from the tough loss

Life is LEARNING .......

Learning to be grateful even we has not felt enough yet.

Learning to be sincere even we are not willing.

Learning to obey even it's tough.

Learning to be understanding even we don't agree at all.

Learning to to be patient even if we feel burdened.

Learning to be faithful even it's so tempted.

Learning to give even it's not much.

Learning to love even if we feel hurt.

Learning to be calm even if we are restless.

Learning to believe even it's hard.

Learn and keep Learning.

Learn till God makes it perfect.

Amen!!!!!

Do not ever give up, keep fighting ......

Life is not a goal, but a journey so enjoy it ......

Life is a challenge .... Face it ....

Life is a gift .... Accept it ....

Life is a game .... Win it .....

Life is a duty ..... Complete it .....

Life is a dream .... Pursue it ....

Life is a mystery .... Explore it ....

Life is a chance .... Take it ....

Life is a song .... Sing it ....

Life is a promise .... Keep it .... 

Life is beautiful ... Be grateful ....

Life is a puzzle .... Solve it ....

One thing that makes us happy is LOVE.

And one thing that makes us mature is PROBLEM.

The world was created for a PROBLEM.

Face  a million PROBLEMS if they could be useful to us and a lot of people around us.

However, STAY AWAY from them if they are going to give harm to us and those around us ...........

SHARE!!!!

No mountains too high and no oceans too wide, if we are together

"I am not feeling well. Will you come to my place, please?"

I read his SMS several times. I was still upset with him after our last arguing, but thinking that he's alone in his place,  I decided to go to his place.

I just got there. Seeing his face again is my weakness. He looked so pale and weak.

"Have you seen a doctor?"

"Nope...It's just a flu." He said with a hoarse voice. I put my hand on his forehead, it's warm.

"Go to your bed, you need to rest more, that's the best medicine for flu."

"As long as you are here....."

"Hhhmm...."

"Still mad?"

"Just sleep...." I didn't want to answer his question and just put a blanket over him.

"Promise, you won't go when I wake up?" He held my hand.

"I'll be here."

I watched him sleeping for a minute. How I really love this guy and I just want to take care of him. I went to the kitchen and made porridge for him.

It's almost twilight when he got up.

"Feeling better?" 

"Much better babe..."

"I made porridge for you." I gave him a bowl of chicken porridge.

"Sit next to me, babe..."

Suddenly he kissed my forehead and said, "Thank you for being here today."

Then he started eating his porridge, while his left hand kept holding my waist.

"I should go home now."

"Stay a little bit longer..."

"I'll be here tomorrow."

"Before you go, I have something for you." He went to his bedroom and came back with a small envelope on his hand.

"Read it at home..." He kissed both of my cheeks this time.

Oh my!! He wrote me a love letter. This is what he wrote....

Dearest Elska

Thank you for giving me all your love and affection.

Everyday I work hard and feel tired, but I know I have you who will embrace me and drive my weariness away. Everyday I become addicted to your attention, warmth and all the feelings that can make me feel alive. Forgive me, because I am always busy with my work and forget that you need to be loved just like the way you have given to me.

Since the first time I met you, I wanna learn everything bout you. I wanna know what things can make you laugh and what things can make you sad. I feel I am such a failure everytime I see tears in your eyes. I feel I am not good enough at saying romantic words, not good enough in expressing my feelings and  I am so stupid for not taking  good care of your heart.

But one thing  I want you to know, Elska. I do really love you. So don't ever give up on me. Teach me so I can make you feel how I love you more than anything. Please don't keep your anger cause I can't stand without  you here by my side.

Really in love with you, 

Kaeru

I cried after I read it. How can I not love you? Cause you always be my dreams, be my life, even in my worst day with you, I am happier than my best days without you. Isn't it enough?

Give Thanks For A Little And You Will Find Alot

"Your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!" ~ Matthew  7:11

God the Almighty has given everything  to us before we ask it from Him.

Take a look  around you. 

Look at the plants, animals, and other human beings.

The earth and sun. 

The moon and stars.

Did you realize that God the Almighty gave them all for free?

God created all of them for the happiness and welfare of human beings.

What does God expect from us?

First, we are expected to cultivate, nurture, preserve all of God's creations.

We should care for and do something about the nature  so that the earth can be a comfortable place to live.

Second, we are expected to ask while working.

Such as The farmers who ask for good harvests while continuing to plant and care for.

We work together with God for the good of our fellows.

Therefore we ask for His grace so we can  be able to take part in His loving works.

We plead that all the things that we do are always blessed and bring prosperity to others.

"Dear God.....

We thank you for equipping  us with all the capabilities so we could live well in this world.

Teach us to use all those capabilities in our work and this way we would like to praise and glorify thee.

Amen."

You got this spell on me cause everything you do is magic

Have you ever watched the movie "A Walk To Remember"? When I finished watching this movie, I ended up crying, not cause I was sad,  but cause of the extraordinary emotion, it kindled inside of me.  I am a great believer in love  not only in terms of feeling and behavior, but  love can drive everything we do into goodness. And really, I can say, people who have ever felt and could feel  love  like this should be grateful.

The love between Landon and Jamie, of course, was an incredible kind of love , but a lot of other people may also have it. Perhaps because people rarely hear such a  good love story,  we all were stunned. Maybe in some love stories people give and sacrifice in one way, while in "A Walk To Remember" the love story perfectly illustrated Landon and Jamie"s love, approaching perfection. Two of them had the same feelings, struggled together, sacrificed but not because of any obligations They served each other without giving so many promises, but they knew in their heart, they would always be there for each other.

Love is a wonderful feeling , love is  never wrong, the wrong things are situations, circumstances, and the journey of love itself. Even in the worst experience of love,  love is actually still a good sense that it can always make us to become a better person, take away all of our ego, make us work on the relationship and give each other mutual respect. Never blame love, blame how we perceive love. The bad experience in  love is not supposed to change the definition of love itself. 

Hhhmmm maybe I was too mellow in viewing of all this, about the movie,  the perception of love,  love storyline. Perhaps. So some of you may protest because everyone could have a different view. Again, I just wanted to share. For those who already feel and have a miraculous love story, guard it well. Increase it to a higher level which is called appreciation.  Appreciation should be maintained, it is not easy to keep love. For those who have bad experience in love,  please do not get mad at love, but believe that the love is still there, always there, in the form that we would never have guessed and understand it.

Love, with a lot of perceptions, can never be defined exactly by the same way, but we all know what that means. It's a unique feeling, which is not the same as another word, the dose is varied, never the same. But when love is entering the same stage for everyone, then the sense of extraordinary emotions will be felt well.

Happy valentine to you all, and thank you to those that have led me to be more loving. It does not always have to be the romantic side of love, lots of forms of  love can be shown, can be expressed in so many ways. Giving more a sense of security, a sense of goodness and a sense of beauty for others. Journey of love  in "A Walk To Remember", has retrospected a good sense of love for me. Indeed, the feeling of love always makes me want to keep doing better things for all people who care so much about me.

The Good And The Bad, God Bless Us Everyone, So Fill Your Heart With Love And Joy

Being the children of God is not easy. Everyone of us should struggle in our life through every problems and trials that we have to face. We must learn how to accept and surrender any of our problems as the will and plan of God himself. 

If the purpose of your life is  straight so your relationship with God will be felt so close. The Lord will give strength within you to get what you want as long as it does not differ from God's will.

Bring yourself to God, love others sincerely, always think positive, always doing good. Cause you know why? Goodness will attract goodness. Sincerity will attract sincerity. Honesty will attract honesty. Our positive desire will attract positive things as well.

The nature of God as written in the holy book is sacred and holy. All that comes from God is positive. Nothing is negative. So why we should have negative thinkings, if we know that our negative minds can bring negative thoughts in our life.

Actually you can ask anything from God as long as you believe, that is called faith. Free ourselves from the trap of negative minds, cause that's what God wants from us. Start our day by having gratitude and surrender.

Maybe we think there are so many bad things that happened in our life so why should we be grateful? We can start looking for things that we are thankful even its just a little single thing among our problems and trials. Maybe in our poverty, we still grow healthy, we live around friendly neighborhood, parents who love us. Maybe in our sickness, we still have family who care so much about us, we already feel happy for so many years before we got the disease. I am sure there are still so many other things in our life.

"Dear my Lord, God The Almighty, thank you for all Your kindness. May we feel Your extraordinary love, through every good and bad moment that we face everyday. Never give up teaching us to always live in Your way cause we know only with Your blessing can make us rich. Amen."

I pray we'll find your light, and hold it in our hearts

One day a man came to my house and he is a technician who can fix the piano, my mother asked him, "Are you coming here alone?" 

He said, " I've never been alone cause God is always here with me."

I was amazed to hear the answer, so it made me wanna share whats in my mind with all of you.

.........................................

When you laugh

God is there with you

He looks at you

While smiling,  He will say....

I am delighted in your laughter

Rejoice!!!, I am happy with you

When you muse

God is there with you

He looks at you and asks

What do you think about?

Hold My hands!!!

I will show you the way

When you cry

God is there with you

He strokes you gently

While whispering 

Do not mourn!!! 

I will strengthen you to fight it

He holds you in his love

So you will  realize

That you are not alone

He will never leave you

He will always guard you

In your sorrow

Even in your darkness

Everything will be beautiful in its time

I'll be with you always until the time

Because I really love you

You are very precious to Me

I will always be with and take care of you

If you ask,  I'll always be there for you