Everyone knows me as a friendly one who ready to help anyone. But in fact, I do that so everyone will like me and want to be my friend. No one knows that I don't like acting so nice and sweet to please everyone. And I have a diary where I can express anything without thinking what other people is gonna say about me. Maybe the only one who really knows me is Mamoru. But he left me, he's gone from my life. I am not expecting to see him again.
Who knows that I saw him again. Suddenly my eyes fell to his fingers looking for a ring there. Phewww.....I feel relieved, there's no ring on his finger. Gosh!!! what's in my mind??? Maybe I should go to neurologist to see if there's something wrong with the function of my brain. A guy like Mamoru is out of my league. A type of guy who graces my dreams but not in my real world.
I am not pretty and I don't have supermodel body. I have never cared what other people said about my appearance, but seeing him again make me think about it. Does he still think that I am such a boring and not attractive girl at all? And I didn't realize, tears rolled down my cheeks. TANYA!!!! Focus!!!! I was so mad at myself.
He is Mamoru!!!! A guy that I am supposed to hate so much.....I tried to remember all the bad things that he's ever done to me.....But in my head full of the sweetest things that we had lately. I can't be mad at him no matter how bad he treated me. Awkward!!!! "oh.....gosh!!!! I am still in love with him," I screamed.
Forget him!!!! I gotta find a way to let him out of my memory because I have tried so many times to make him stay here with me and I lost. I am not a princess in fairytale, my life will not end up happily ever after with a prince charming. Now, I should stop dreaming anymore. I sighed.....frustrated. STUUUUUPPPIIIIDDDD!!!!!
"I know I hurt you, that's the last thing I meant to do, sometimes I can be careless and blind, can you forgive the fool that I've been?" I stunned when he said that.
"Tanya???"
"Hah???".....He gripped my hand.
"Don't touch me!!!! Let me go!!!!" I screamed.
"Tanya, stop it!" He hugged my waist. I tried to kicked him.
"Aaahhh!!! He was moaning in pain.
"You know what's funny.....I thought by hurting you I can get rid you of my mind but your little fingers can wrap so tight and I finally realized that I don't even mind at all."
"Why?"
"Because I love you ..... wanna you"
"How can you say that if you are still with another girls?!?!"
"I am sorry. I know I am dumb and childish. It won't happen again. I promise!" his voice was sealed in certainty.
I can't explain what i feel right now. I just can't believe it, I can be this happy!!!!
"I love you, Tanya," said Mamoru
"Love you too."
"I know," He showed me his naughty smile.
"Arrrgghhh!" His face is getting closer and I can feel my cheeks already blushed.
You changed my world
I know that I'll be ok now, this time it's real
I lay my love on you, it's all I wanna do
Everytime I breathe, I feel brand new
You open up my heart, show me all your love and walk right through
As I lay my love on you
(Westlife)
Hhhmmm I will let my love live in fantasy because I know ..... It will never hurt me
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