"If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I'd be at the bottom to catch them"

Even though our friendship is just in virtual world, we should be able to keep our image. Virtual world is not only can expand your access but also can narrow your movement space. We can meet anyone and we can be anyone so be aware is necessary and knowing the character of your friends here is a must.....

COZY

If you wanna be in cozy category, you should be a great friend, honest and comfortable to talk with. Good looking is an extra bonus point for you hahaha..... You have extensive knowledge and a good environment so u can talk about anything. You have a great education or work. You are not narrow-minded and not easily make others feel annoyed.

FUN

If your cozy friends are not online then friends in fun category can be friends to kill your boredom. You don't have to be good looking but you should be comfortable to talk with.

SILLY

You really can make your friends wanna kick your ass hahaha.....But if all your cozy n fun friends are offline, even though is so irritating, they can be your last bumper.

Do you guys agree with that??? Well, I took it from "Cyber love adventure" book, they wrote it based on the experiences of cyber addicts. If i asked you guys who I've been tagged in this note to determine what kind of friend I am in your eyes ..... please choose one of this :

1. Cozy

2. Cozy to silly

3. Fun

4. Fun to silly

5. Silly

After all ..... I am happy to meet u all even its only in virtual world, no matter what..... friendship always can enrich our life because in friendship we will share laughter and tears together.

"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow.

Don't walk behind me, I may not lead.

Walk beside me and be my friend."

- Albert Camus

Another moon, another sun, I want you even in my dreams

I don't really know who I am in your eyes

What's my place in your heart

You've never said it clearly

You just let our affection dangle in the mist

Love drowned us in the sea of confusion

Sometimes its so close and sometimes it feels so far away

It let us chase each other

And still you didn't say any words at the end of the journey

So I took a step forward

even though tears streaming down my cheeks

I keep walking n not turning back

Hoping that someday you will find me

It's not just a wish

Because I still believe

That you have the same wish too

I do understand you more than anyone else

I swear a thousand times

I will keep waiting for you

Because all of miraculous memories of you

Keep popping into my mind

In my dreams I have been searching for you for so long

Hoping someday it will come true

I truly believe that in your silent you do love me

You will find me and hold my hand

"Oh pretty baby, I can't take my eyes off of you"

Everyone knows me as a friendly one who ready to help anyone. But in fact, I do that so everyone will like me and want to be my friend. No one knows that I don't like acting so nice and sweet to please everyone. And I have a diary where I can express anything without thinking what other people is gonna say about me. Maybe the only one who really knows me is Mamoru. But he left me, he's gone from my life. I am not expecting to see him again.

Who knows that I saw him again. Suddenly my eyes fell to his fingers looking for a ring there. Phewww.....I feel relieved, there's no ring on his finger. Gosh!!! what's in my mind??? Maybe I should go to neurologist to see if there's something wrong with the function of my brain. A guy like Mamoru is out of my league. A type of guy who graces my dreams but not in my real world.

I am not pretty and I don't have supermodel body. I have never cared what other people said about my appearance, but seeing him again make me think about it. Does he still think that I am such a boring and not attractive girl at all? And I didn't realize, tears rolled down my cheeks. TANYA!!!! Focus!!!! I was so mad at myself.

He is Mamoru!!!! A guy that I am supposed to hate so much.....I tried to remember all the bad things that he's ever done to me.....But in my head full of the sweetest things that we had lately. I can't be mad at him no matter how bad he treated me. Awkward!!!! "oh.....gosh!!!! I am still in love with him," I screamed.

Forget him!!!! I gotta find a way to let him out of my memory because I have tried so many times to make him stay here with me and I lost. I am not a princess in fairytale, my life will not end up happily ever after with a prince charming. Now, I should stop dreaming anymore. I sighed.....frustrated. STUUUUUPPPIIIIDDDD!!!!!

"I know I hurt you, that's the last thing I meant to do, sometimes I can be careless and blind, can you forgive the fool that I've been?" I stunned when he said that.

"Tanya???"

"Hah???".....He gripped my hand.

"Don't touch me!!!! Let me go!!!!" I screamed.

"Tanya, stop it!" He hugged my waist. I tried to kicked him.

"Aaahhh!!! He was moaning in pain.

"You know what's funny.....I thought by hurting you I can get rid you of my mind but your little fingers can wrap so tight and I finally realized that I don't even mind at all."

"Why?"

"Because I love you ..... wanna you"

"How can you say that if you are still with another girls?!?!"

"I am sorry. I know I am dumb and childish. It won't happen again. I promise!" his voice was sealed in certainty.

I can't explain what i feel right now. I just can't believe it, I can be this happy!!!!

"I love you, Tanya," said Mamoru

"Love you too."

"I know," He showed me his naughty smile.

"Arrrgghhh!" His face is getting closer and I can feel my cheeks already blushed.

You changed my world

I know that I'll be ok now, this time it's real

I lay my love on you, it's all I wanna do

Everytime I breathe, I feel brand new

You open up my heart, show me all your love and walk right through

As I lay my love on you

(Westlife)

Hhhmmm I will let my love live in fantasy because I know ..... It will never hurt me

If you remember when love was an ember about to billow

This is my dream, because only in my dream, i can embrace you. I will always remember that. Paradise is wonderful but being with you is more beautiful.

"Tara......wake up!!!"

I was startled to hear mom's voice. And once again i woke up from my miraculous dream.

At the airport.....

He held my hand and put a bracelet.

"I gave you a necklace once at your birthday, now I gave you this bracelet," He traced my ring finger.....

"someday, here, I wanna put a ring," His voice has the seal of a promise in it.

One hour!!! I felt like it has been a year. I was still sitting there. And he flew away to America to pursue his dreams.

Three years later.....

"Mark!!!" I screamed.

"Tara???" He surprised to see me here.

"Gosh! It's been three years, I haven't heard anything from you. I tried to call your cell, sent email to you, but you never replied me, not even once. I lost you."

"Huh??? Really?"

"I'm so sorry. I was busy with my study then my works too, so I don't have time to contact you. Sorry okay???"

I was so upset, "I wanna go home. It seems I don't know you anymore. You used to be my best friend. Now you are super busy person."

I wish he knew how I felt when he was away. How I missed him so much.

Mark.....

I cant imagine one day without making you happy, without spoiling you. But I know you only care about as your brother, not more than that. It made me suffer a thousand times. Then, I thought the only way for me to survive was to send you away from my life. I kept busy with my study and my works so I could stop thinking about you. Three years!!!! The more I tried to forget you, the more I felt loving you.

After meeting him......

I kept thinking about him. I couldn't sleep at all. And suddenly my cell was ringing. I saw Mark' name on my cell screen.

"Mark???" I called him in low voice.

"Can you talk to me?" His voice cracked.

"About what?"

"Anything! I can't sleep at all. I really wanna hear your voice."

How can we feel the same thing. Gosh! I missed his voice too, "I'll tell you something but you gotta close your eyes"

"Yup."

"Long time ago, I met a man. An awesome man, I've never thought that he could be my best friend eventually. He changed my life. Everyday I praise the Lord because He let me know him. When I was a little girl, He gave me happiness because of his beauty. When he's getting older, I can lean on him, he always be here for me, he did the best things for me and he knew how to make me smile again."

"Mark???" He didn't say anything. I though he's asleep. But I still wanna continue my story.

"Did he change now? Does he know that I have changed now? That I don't love him as my brother again. Am i too late? Does he still wanna do the best things for me? I love him." My tears shed.

Ten minutes later, I got a message on my cell. From Mark.

"He has never changed at all. He's still faithful. He still wanna do the best things for her."

I smiled. Tonight I know that I don't have to cry anymore.

I know God always gives us the best things in our life. Everything that happened in our life, there's God's hand works on it. We just need to believe and wait.

I miss your love

I miss the way you laugh

I miss the sound of your voice

I miss the way you talk

I miss your eyes

I miss the way you look at me

I've never thought I could feel this way

I do swear, I miss you........

(Alexa Key - Aku kangen aku rindu)

"Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it."

Now........

Here I'm. I looked around the hall. What amazing and pretty hall indeed. Over there, on the stage, I can see them. Beautiful bride and groom. I walked to the stage, smiled on my face.

"Congratulation!!" I said, but my voice cracked. I Looked straight in to his eyes, trying to tell him that I'm alright. I kissed my sister, felt happy for her. She finally can be together with the one that she loves so much.

I'm on the floor, counting one minute more

No one to break the silence

Staring in to the night

All alone, but that's alright

It's the feeling, deep inside, I don't like

This is where our journey ends

You're breaking my heart again.....

( Breaking my heart - MLTR )

Two days ago......

"You should come home, come to my wedding," His first message on my cell this morning.

"Give me a strength to get through this," His another message.

I looked out the window. It was raining out there. I opened the window. I felt the pouring rain on my hands. It has been two years, I haven't gone back home. Gosh, it was just like yesterday......

It's so very cold outside, like the way I'm feeling inside

I'm a big big girl, in a big big world

It's not a big big thing if you leave me

But I do do feel, that I do do will

Miss you much

I have your arms around me, warm like fire

But when i open my eyes, You're gone.....

( Big big world - Emilia )

Two years ago......

I went to my dad's office. During my school holiday, daddy let me help him in marketing. I was so happy because i can learn something new here.

"Keanu, here is Tiara, my youngest daughter. She wanna learn about marketing here for her school assignment," Daddy introduced me with his marketing manager.

First impression, He's cute like my teddy bear at home, hahaha

He's such a charming teacher. He taught me much about marketing. I love the way he treated me, like an angel standing next to me. I hardly believed it, you opened up my heart.

Everyone can see, there's a change in me

They all say I'm not the same kid I used to be

Don't go out and play, I just dream all day

They don't know what's wrong with me

And I'm to shy to say

It's my first love

What I'm dreaming of when i go to bed

When I lay my head upon my pillow

Don't know what to do.....

( First love - Nikka Costa )

Day after day, time passed away and I just can't get you off my mind. Till one day, i found a piece of paper between my marketing books. It said, "At the moment, she took my heart away. I let it go with her, but I keep waiting. Until she finds this and answer all my dreams someday ( To my one, T)"

" Oh My Goodness!!!"...........

"Am I answering your dream, Tiara?" Suddenly he was standing in front of me

""Huh? What?" I was so nervous

"Will you be my one?"

And I was freezing then melting like ice cream.........

_____________________________

Dinner in my house with Keanu and my family. Daddy said he wanted my sister to get married with Keanu, another freezing moment in my life. Nobody knows about me and Keanu. When people said there's no border in love, but actually there is. Our large different in age, made us keep our relationship in silence, waiting the right time to make other people can accept us. Daddy's words sounded like an undeniable statement.

I just knew that Keanu is a smart n talented employee in my dad's company. He started his career from low level there, but my dad paid for his school till he can finish his master degree abroad.

"Tiara, I.........." I put my finger on his lips.....

"Sssshhh!! I know what are you gonna say." I embraced him tight.

"I love you," He whispered

I Moved to another and continue my study there, because I know by staying away from him, I can give him and my sister a chance to be close to each other. That's the last thing that i can do for him and my sister, because they are the ones that I love. If my leaving can give happiness to them then I'll do it.

Tomorrow morning I have to leave

But wherever I may be

Best believe I'm thinking of you

I can't believe how much I love you

All we have is here tonight

We don't want to waste this time

Give me something to remember

Baby put your lips on mine

Just close your eyes and you'll be here with me

Just look to your heart and that's where I'll be.....

( Close your eyes - Westlife )

Now........

Late at night. The wedding was over an hour ago. Here I am, sitting near the pool, staring at stars in the sky. I can't sleep at all.

"Tiara???" I remember his voice.

"Hhhmmm, why are you here? Where's my sister?"

"She fell asleep, too tired, I guess.......How's your life?"

"I'm okay. I think, I should go inside......" He held my hand, still as warm as two years ago.

"I.......Never mind........Goodnight Tiara........" He sighed. I smiled at him.

Early in the morning i went to the airport, I sent a message on his cell.

I am very happy now and I want you to keep your promise to be the happiest man in the world

In his room Keanu read the message......."The happiest man ???......I'm still trying Tiara......" He grinned.

I gave my best to you

Nothing for me to do but have one last cry

One last cry before I leave it all behind

I gotta put you out of my mind

This time stop living lie

I guess I'm down to my last cry

I know I gotta be strong

Cause round me life goes on and on

I gotta dry my eyes right after I have my one last cry

( One last cry - Brian Mcknight)

Saying goodbye isn't the hard part, it's what we leave behind that's tough. They make you realize what you've had, what you've lost, and what you've taken for granted.

"Every time I manage to let you go, you somehow manage to sneak right back into my heart."

One day In my sister's room

"You are beautiful," I was stunning, looking at my sister's shadow in the mirror.

She smiled at me. Suddenly she said, "I have feelings for Mathew. Do u think he's interested in me?"

I felt as if someone had choked me till i couldn't breath. I wanted to scream that i like Mathew too.

One day at my school

There, i saw him standing with smile on his face. I felt my heart beat faster. What a strange feeling. So confusing but make me happy at the same time.

"Hhmm i have 2 tickets for a movie tonight if you wanna go with me" He said

I felt my cheeks blushed. I was happy but didn't know what to say to him.

"Saskia???" He said again

"Hhmm, what? oh okay."

At Cinema

His hand clasped mine. Gentle but tight.

"Mathew," i whispered near his ear

He turned, looked at me right into my eyes. His face was so close, I could feel his breath. I turned my face to the other side, blushed. I kept wondering why he clasped my hand. I got a feeling, he is just into me, not my sister. I don't know what to do. My heart is split into two choices, standing for my sister or having him only for me.

Is it love?

Since the first time i met her, there is a desire that made me realize of mistakes that I had done in the past. By guarding her, I want to atone for that mistakes. By loving her, I want to give something that i've never given to anyone before. True love.

But, is he really in love with Saskia? Isn't it just a feeling of like without love? And does he deserve to have a relationship with a much younger girl, who may not know the meaning of true love.

With a giddy feeling, I heaved a sigh.

One day in the cafe

" There's something that i wanna tell you, Saskia, " He said it slowly.

He clasped my hand, so gentle n loving. Its hard for me to resist him. In the same time, i drowned in confusing.

Gabriela.....Mathew.....Gabriela.....Mathew.....Me

"How long have we been friends?" Asked Mathew

"2 years i guess......."

"I love you, Saskia......" Finally Mathew said the magic words

"I thought you consider me as your little sister."

"At first yeah, but after knowing you better, that's not what i feel. I love you more than just a little sister, more than just a friend, more than just a best friend."

I was speechless. Happy. Confused. Happy. Sad. Joy. Hurt.....

"Saskia, give me a chance."

But Gabriela is my own sister.

I bit my lip and said, "But we are different, I'm too young for you though"

"Who said you are an adult?" He smiled

"I'm serious, Matt!"

"Who said I'm not....."

"Matt, I cant......"

"Why?" He looked straight into my eyes.

"I'll prove to you, even though our world is different, it wont be a barrier" His voice has the seal of a promise in it.

In my best friend's house

"I love him."

"So, why are you so confused about. He loves you too, right?"

"Saskia, listen to me.....Mathew decided to choose you, not your sister. I think, you should tell your sister about this. Maybe your sister will get hurt, but i'm sure she will forgive you someday."

For Mathew

It's already late at night. Mathew came to my house.

"Mathew?"

"Are you going to sleep?".....I nodded

"I just missed you. I love you, Saskia. Love you too much."

"I love you too....." I said in low, intense voice. It's so relieved when finally I can express what i feel.

"You do?"

I nodded n nodded. He held me closer, embraced me with all the longing.

His fingers lightly traced the shape of my lips and he kissed me.

" You're in my arms and all the world is calm

the music playing on for only two so close together

and when I'm with you so close to feeling alive........

and now forever i know

all that i wanted was to hold you so close

so close to reaching that famous happy end

almost believing this was not pretend

now you're beside me and look how far we've come

so far we are so close..................................."

(So Close by Jon McLaughlin)

One of our dates

"If you are upset like that, you are truly like a little girl" He smiled playfully.

"But i love having a relationship with you. Sometimes you look like a little girl and the other time you can suddenly act like a mature one. You never make me bored."

He pulled my hand, " Sit here, on my lap."

"Weeww nahh, you'll say I'm a little girl again!"

"You will always be my little princess ever and little princess deserves to be lapped," He smiled with naughty eyes.

The greatest thing about love

"Both of you are so different, how can both of you fall in love?" people asked it so many times.

Mathew smiled, " That's the greatest thing bout love. It makes you blind, the other time you can use your logic too. Sometimes can make you more understanding and sometimes you wanna possess your beloved one"

A bell is no bell 'til you ring it, A song is no song 'til you sing it, Love isn’t love 'til you give it away.

If I have to go

I wanna go closer to you

If I could ask you to come

I want you to come to me

If you have to leave

I don't know how to make you stay

I have no courage at all

Just like a fool

I feel left behind

I only dare to stare at you from afar

I don't even have a chance to say I love you

Will your heart let u know that I'm always here for you

Or I' m just a blurry shadow to you

Goodbye, eventually that we have to say

My heart may break into pieces

I probably won't meet someone like you again

No matter how many times I've tried

I still find myself wanting to see you again

Just one thing

If someday somehow

You meet someone better

Someone who really loves you

Don't forget me.................

"We have come to believe and to know that you are the Holy One of God." (John 6:69)

My Lord, make me to be the bearer of ur peace

If there is hatred

make me to be the bearer of love

if there is humiliation

make me to be the bearer of forgiveness

if there is disputation

make me to be the bearer of harmony

if there is indecision

make me to be the bearer of certainty

if there is misguided

make me to be the bearer of truth

if there is anxiety

make me to be the bearer of hope

if there is sadness

make me to be the bearer of joy

if there is darkness

make me to be the bearer of light

My Lord,do not let go my hands

embrace me in your love

guide me with ur will

I wanna learn to understand more than to be understood

to console more than to be consoled

to love more than to be loved

cause by giving... I will be received

by forgiving... I will be forgiven

by giving affection... I will be loved

"You hear what's deep inside, You're the one who won my heart"

Me.....

Today I decided to leave him. I don't know where. Meanwhile it was raining outside, rain was getting heavy. I was having a party with rain and tears. Deep down in my heart I still have hope, he might come after me, asking me not to leave. But hope was just hope. Still I can hear what he said....."I'm trying but I still can't love you," My love is only a one side love, no matter how long we have been together.

Him.....

Its true that I felt relieved when finally I can be honest with her. Feelings can't be forced, right?

But only a few minutes after she left. I realized there's something empty inside my heart. Her, she is my girl, the one tough girl that I know. she is as good as an angel, but I still can't love her. I kept comparing her with other girls. She's not pretty enough. She's not girlie enough. She's not hot enough. But look at her, she has no chance defending herself. She showed no emotions in her face, I ignored her when sometimes I saw pain in her eyes.

Days have passed, I feel empty inside. No matter what, we used to be together.

Me.....

For me, he is my prince charming. I care about him a lot but what did i get? Can't he learn a little bit to love me? I'm still an ordinary human being. I'm not an angel. I feel disappointed, sad, empty and mad because I was being ignored. God, if I can ask You to take away my feelings so I don't have to feel this painfully.....

Him.....

Tonight for the first time I feel I really missed her. I want her to be here by my side. How could I let her go? I missed her laugh when I told her some jokes. I missed her asking me....how's work, hun?, Tired, hun?, I miss you, hun., I love you, hun. I missed when she was mad at me because of how messed up I am.

I opened her blog and the first line that she wrote is "The one i gave my heart to". All her stories about me. Gosh, I wanna curse myself a million times for being bad to her.

Where are you? .....Don't you wanna come home? Do I still have a second chance?

Me.....

He didn't try to find me, while I missed him desperately here. I'm worried about him.

Are you healthy, my love? Have you had your meal, hun? Were you tired at work, hun? And .....don't you remember me?

I still hope one day when I open the door, I'll find you there, pulling me closer and embracing me. But the rain won't stop yet. Do I still have a chance to see a rainbow out there?

Him.....

"Because you hold me up so high, give yourself with no condition. Because you guide me when i'm stumbling in the dark. You hear what's deep inside, when i need you there to listen, you're the one who won my heart"

You never give up reaching for me, right?????

Sometimes in life, we ask God to give us what we want, but He knows exactly what we need. We often ask Him to find someone that fit us in anyway, but somehow He lets us meet certain people, letting us be together, there's must be a reason for that. Maybe He wants us to learn how to love sincerely with no conditions.

*To combine a true story and fiction is hard indeed, but I did it eventually*

" Remember me. Oh, remember me, for memory may fade but they never die."

I am only in love with you

I love you wholeheartedly

I follow you around

Like a shadow everyday

I laugh and cry for you

Just how much more do I have to gaze you alone

This love comes like the wind

This love makes me beg for you

If i keep waiting for you

Wil you love me?

I wanna come closer

Just one step closer

But you take two steps back

I wanna be a girl

Who stands by you

I wonder....

I learned how to smile

Even my heart full of tears

Cause I still love you the same way

I am just another fool

I wanna win your love

Everyday in my heart

I wanna scream out loud

Cause the girl is not me

I know I am a fool

Will you embrace me before you go?

Just once.....

For the last time

Prank.....Just for fun.....

Little boy : " Dad, how was I born?".......:-/

Dad : Well son, your mom and I got together at yahoo.......@-)

We set up a date via E mail and met in cyber cafe........;)

Your mom agreed to download data from my PEN DRIVE......:*

so I put it in your mom's USB PORT......:-bd

And just when i was about to transfer......:-o

we realized that none of us had installed an ANTIVIRUS or FIREWALL......:(

It was too late to hit 'Cancel'.......:-ss

And nine nonths later a 'Pop up' window appeared, saying.......:-/

"You've got 'MALE''......:))

LOL...... =)) what a phenomenal relationship in the virtual world

"Distance never separates two hearts that really care, for our memories span the miles and in seconds we are there"

I close my eyes. Its raining out there.....RAIN!!! All the time rain still remain rhythmic.

If you try to listen the sound of rain with your heart and try to smell it.....What is captured by your heart?

Rain is always beautiful for me.....because rain season united me with my loved ones

What I feel sometimes is almost the same as when im enjoying the rain. When you are not here.....i feel restless, just like when i see the pouring rain. I feel scared, just like when i hear the lightning thunder.

I missed him alot. Where are you? What are you doing? Are you tired? Have u had ur meal?

God..... Longing is wrapping my heart.

Its still raining outside.....

I can see the painting of our every moment in every rhytthm of the pouring rain. In silent im holding my knees and faintly i can hear a song fr radio... and AGAIN!!! it reminds me of you.....

i know you are bored

i know you are weary

i know you cant stand it anymore

its all my fault

its all cz of me

im afraid

you are gone

you'll disappear

you are sick

i just wanna you be here

be by my side

forever

I wish you can say.....

dont be sad

i'll be faithful

dont be afraid

i wont be gone

i want to be here with you

inspired fr Vierra's song

“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. " Luke 11:9

Life is like the clock that always runs and will stop in time that we do not know when. Right now i feel like the clock stopped. I cant breathe. I cant see the light. All dark like theres no way out.

O God..... among of my despair, i prostrate to you.....

Our Father, you know whats the best for me

but why am I still complaining?

though I wanted the sun shines brightly

but You know there must be a pouring rain

I loved the laughter and jokes

low noise joy

but my heart will freeze and be stiff

if not drenched with tears

Our Father, You often test me

suffering and distress. You let it happen

not a trial but the exam that You give

for I know today and tomorrow

Trees will grow stronger

when there will stand the wind and storm

like a sharp chisel eye

produce beautiful and elegant carvings of marbles

Our Father, You never hurt me for no reason

You never wasted my pains

any loss that you're allowed to make happen

you replace it with surely abundant blessings

When I count the blessings that I received

that You devote ceaseless

I see no reason to be sad

and there was no time to complain

Our Father, You always love your children

for You all things are common

You never send joy

when my soul needs pain

Every time I have a heavy burden

when everything is not running correctly

and there, I saw God works in my life

make me stronger and vibrant

Only one thing that I beg from You, O Father

accompany me in this life

show me the way that I should go through

so I can pursue a path

the path of truth to eternity

Amen!!!

Peter Brutsch

"Forever is not a word...rather a place where two lovers go when true love takes them there."

If i had a little more time

I hope to give you the entire world

I can not change

All that i was missed before

My longings could only spiral like in a dream

If i had a little more time

I want to realize all your wishes

Too many dreams

Too many promises

Awaiting every night

Realizing gradually

Let all the sorrows end with each sunset

Let me be by your side

Completing every day of your life

Even if you are in the edge of the sky

Two hearts are true like a kite joined by one string

Let all happiness meander before sunrise

Let me see your smile when you are in your happiest moment

Though you are on the surface of the earth

Our love must be till forever more

Inspired fr Starlit - the taiwanese serial

When u say u love me, the world stops 4 a moment, the stars stop shining, the moon stops glowing, the earth stops breathing

People said theres only a thin line between hate n love. Dont hate sumone 2 much cz u might b in love with that one. The more u hate sum1 n the more u think bout that one.........

Dear diary.........

I met him @ the hotel X, he held a fans conference.....Who doesnt adore him nowadays? I tried 2 get closer 2 c him but im 2 small to get through the hordes of people standing. Suddenly ppl rushed n chased him cz he was leaving the hotel. People kept pushing each other, i fell down near his feet......he didnt have 2 take a look lil bit. What an arrogant actor!!! I hate him since that day

Dear diary........

OMG! OMG! Cant believe it, i got a chance 2 b a host in tv program 4 a week with my idol in Maluku. But when i saw his name, i was not 2 eager 2 do it......Its him again. Its true that i requested 2 b with him in that show but that before i knew how arrogant he is.

Dear diary.......

First day with him.........Cant deny how adorable he is. But i hate him more, when he walked in to rest room, he hit me. He said sorry with flat face. What the hell.

Dear diary........

Second day with him, its so tiring cz i had 2 pretend smiling n b friendly with him during the show. He said, u seem hating me so much n i dont know y u do that, if u dont like doing the show with me, other girls will love 2 take ur place. A girl shouldnt b so mean if not.....u wont have a boyfriend sumday!!!......Grrrrrrrrrr.

Dear diary........

Third day with him.......He said, come with me!!! He held my hand n dragged me 2 the beach. Oh my gosh, what a beauty, SUNSET. Always love it. I looked @ him, said thank u through my eyes. He smiled n my heart started 2 beat faster. Oh NO!!!!!

Dear diary.......

Fourth day with him......He knocked @ my door. Its 5 in the morning. He said, Hurry up n dragged me 2 the beach

again. He surprised me one more time. SUNRISE. I was really grateful cz i can c such a beauty fr God. He said, i enjoy spending time with u. I was blushing indeed.

Dear diary........

Fifth day with him, just yesterday i still hated him so much n now i cant stop thinking bout him. I cant b in love with him?????? Im so confused n frustrated. Sumone out there please help me, i got no clues @ all. Being around him made me nervous 2 death. Huft.

Dear diary........

Sixth day with him, i bought some souvenirs 4 all crews in this show cz tomorrow is our last day in Maluku. I had a special one 4 him, just bout knocking his door when i heard 2 people was talking quite hard.........

"I asked u 2 b nice with her not spending ur day with sunset n sunrise with her. What will ur fans think bout u if they know u have a gf!!!!!!"........his manager.

"I just want her 2 treat me friendly. U know i cant b in love with such ordinary girl like her....I just pretend 2 b nice so she wont c me as her enemy during this show......." thats his voice.

I ran into my room with tears. I should know that he's an actor, pretending is what he uses 2 do. Im the foolish one.

Dear diary........

Last day with him. @ the airport, looked @ our pics on my cell. Blah. I hate him just like the first day i saw him. He said, did i do sumthing wrong? Just stay away fr me, will u???? I closed my eyes, tried not 2 cry.

Dear diary........

Few days before valentine day. A month after the show, i saw him on tv. I missed him indeed.

"Do u have a gf ?" ........the host

"Not right now, but i have sumone that i lke"..........

My heart hurt.........

Dear diary........

Valentine day @ cafe with girls in my gang. OMG, hes the guest star!!!! I knew girls setting me up tonite.

"Whats the biggest surprise tonite?".........the host.

"Hhmm, I know u r here. Please forgive me. I dont mean 2 hurt u. What i feel 4 u, its not an acting or pretending. I do enjoy 2 b with u. I do like u, maybe already in love with u"

"Whoah n whos the lucky girl tonite?"...........the host again.

He walked toward my desk, whispered into my ear.....will u b my valentine?......

Dear diary.......

Im really grateful cz i have such a wonderful friendship fr girls in my gang n now i have a relationship with him. God really knows how 2 make me happy. I LOVE U............

I dedeicated this note 4 all my friends ........thank u 4 such a beautiful n amazing friendship n 2 the one that i care so much.........thank u 4 letting me know what love is. I love u all, happy valentine ♥ ♥ ♥

n lovely music 2 accompany u.....♥ ♥ ♥

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SnMoDDbEccE&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTNSwOFUf30&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7N8fty79U6Y&feature=relmfu

I never found the words to say, You're the one i think about each day

Many relationships are broken, lost and changed because there is no commitment

'I love her cz of the way she treats me'

'I love him cz of the way he makes me feel'

'I love her cz she's so beautiful'

'I love him cz he fell down @ my feet with roses n jewels'

People often underlie that love things over sumthing that they r considered beautiful. It may sound romantic n do such a thing is not wrong @ all. However, sumtimes things get 2 romantic that we often hear people say it in movies.

Rarely out of them and maybe our own thinking

'I love her cz of the way she treats me'

What happens if she stops treating u the way u love?

'I love him cz of the way he makes me feel'

Then what happens if he stops making u feel that way?

'I love her cz she's so beautiful'

Three weeks later, she got an accident

'I love him cz he fell down @ my feet with roses n jewels'

Out of blue, hes broke that he couldnt buy u roses n jewels anymore

Rarely they r saying

'I love u cz i want 2'

That's commitment. commitment is a source of strength, not sumthing that makes people afraid to face it.

Commitment is a strength 4 a girl 2 c the good n the bad of her boyfriend, accept him when he's handsome n when he looks so ugly, yawning when he wakes up evry morning.

Commitment is a strenght 4 a man when he meets another girls n chooses 2 go home, has dinner with his girlfriend while sharing stories n laughing.

Commitment is a strenght 4 a father when he's not ashamed 2 introduce his son 2 his patners........'This is my son, he's in treatment cz of drugs n im proud of him'. Im sure his son will b in tears cz so many parents got mad, ashamed n expressed their anger by slapping his son.

Thats how far a commitment will take u.

As far as the ocean of life would b, as deep as it would b, i'll swim through it

As cold as it would b, as hot as it would be, i'll adapt through it

As strong the wind would b, so as soft as it would b, ill stand through it

But facing it together with the one u love, u know it wont b really that tough

Commitment will give u the strength 2 make u love sum1 unconditionally. Its tough but hey.....they will love u back the same way.

'I love you.....because i want to' Thats a powerful sentence, right there.

Some of us may have loved sumone cz of the shortly conditions. Cz he/she is kind, smart, even rich. Have u ever thought what will happen if he/she is mean 2 u, not as smart as before n broke. Will u still love them, then?

Thats y u need commitment. Dont love sumone cz of what/ how/who they r. From now on u should start loving sumone cz u want 2, so when sumday both of u have a hard time in relationship, ull say ' i will never forget the day when we fell in love'

Here we r.....May God gives us a ticket 2 find our soulmate, a ticket 2 arrive in sumone' heart.

~~~~~~~Inspired fr The test pack by Ninit Y~~~~~~~

As our two hearts has become one, is the most precious gift of love

Hhhmm Love

We think about it

Dream about it

Lose sleep worrying about it

When we dont have it we search for it

When we discover it we dont know what to do with it

We fear losing it

Its our source of pleasure and pain

We cant predict which it will be from one moment to the next

Its a short word

Easy to spell

Difficult to define

Impossible to live without.

Sometimes you have to just take a chance in love

You cant live your life amongst amound of "what if"

You have to follow your heart and hope for the best

Just remember that you dont choose love

Love chooses you

All you can really do is accept it

Feel its mystery when it comes into your life.

Thats why people call it fall in love

Cz you have no reasons to fall in love

You just fall like that

If you love someone cz you think that he/she is gorgeous

then its not love, its infatuation

If you love someone cz you think that you shouldnt leave him/her

then its not love, its compromise

If you love someone cz you think that you can not live without his/her touch

then its not love, its lust

If you love someone cz you think that youve been kissed by him/her

then its not love, its inferiority complex

If you love someone cz you think that you would hurt his/her feeling if you leave him/her

then its not love, its charity

If you love someone cz you think that you can share evrything with him/her

then its not love, its friendship

But if you feel the pain of the other person more than him/her even when he/she is stable

and you cry for him/her, thats love

If you get attracted to other people but stay with him/her without any regrets, thats love

If let him/her go knowing that he/she has to go but he/she doesnt want to, thats love

For me

To know who i love is.....

When being around that one

my heart beat faster with no reasons

When remembering that one

I smile with no reasons

When worrying bout that one

I will run in rush like theres no tomorrow

I cant really explain what i feel

But to love is..........

To have someone special

One who you can always depend to be there through the years

Sharing laughter and tears

As a partner, a lover, a friend

Whats love in ur point of view?

Tell me my true love is here underneath my christmas tree

"Jingle bell jingle bell jingle bell rock, dancing n prancing in jingle bell square in the frosty air. Why couldn't it be christmas every day?"

╔═══╗ ♪

║███║ ♫

║ (●) ♫

╚═══╝♪♪

Britney Spears on my ipod "My only wish this year"

......Hhhhmmmm.....Santa can u really hear me?

Oh yeah yeah...

Last night I took a walk in the snow,

Couples holdin hands, places to go,

Seems like everyone but me is in love

Santa can you hear me?

I signed my letter that I sealed with kiss,

I sent it off, it just said this:

"i know exactly what I want this year"

Santa can you hear me?

I want my baby, baby

I want someone to love me, someone to hold,

Maybe maybe,

He'll be all my own in a big red bow

Santa can you hear me?

I have been so good this year

And all I want is one thing,

Tell me my true love is here

He's all I want, just for me

Underneath my christmas tree

I'll be waiting here

Santa that's my only wish this year

Yeahh...

Christmas eve, I just can't sleep

Would I be wrong for takin a peek

'cause I heard that you're comin to town

Santa can you hear me?

I really hope that you're on your way

With something special for me in your sleigh

Oh please make my wish come true,

Santa can you hear me?

I want my baby, baby

I want someone to love me, someone to hold

Baby, baby, baby

We'll be all alone under the mistletoe

Santa can you hear me?

I have been so good this year,

All I want is one thing

Tell me my true love is here

He's all I want, just for me

Underneath my christmas tree

I'll be waiting here

Santa that's my only wish this year

I hope my letter reaches you in time, (oh yeah)

Bring me love I can call all mine (oh yeah)

'cause I have been so good this year, (oh oh)

Can't be alone under the mistletoe,

He's all I want in a big red bow.

Santa can you hear me?

I have been so good this year

And all I want is one thing

Tell me my true love is near

He's all I want, just for me

Underneath my christmas tree

I'll be waiting here,

Santa that's my only wish this year

Ahh ahh ahh

Oh santa, can you hear me...?

Oh santa, well he's all I want

Just for me, underneath my christmas tree

I'll be waiting here,

Santa that's my only wish this year

Santa that's my only wish this year.

¸.•♥•.¸¸.•♥• Merry Christmas, thinking of u @ christmas time, may ur days be merry n ur heart be light •♥•.¸¸.•♥•.¸

We can never turn back the pages of time, though we may wish to relive a happy moment or say goodbye just one last time

Twice a day ......

I tell myself to forget you

Thrice a day ......

I find myself remembering you

Four times a day ......

I remind myself to erase you from my mind

Five times a day .....

I can not stop myself from writing bout you

A hundred times a day ......

I ask myself to hate you

A thousand times a day ......

I find myself uncontrollably forgiving you

Each time every day ......

My heart is torn into shreds

Ten thousand times a day ......

I keep telling myself to love you

This love ......

Was it meant to be a mistake from the start

Maybe we should both take a step back

Our stubbornness only brings misery

The happiness that can not be reached

Translated fr the OST of Zhong Wu Yan ~ Taiwanese Drama

If a picture paints a thousand words, then why cant i paint u?

Ting ting..........

YOU'VE GOT MAIL!!!!

Day 1..............

Hey Tara. Thanx 4 replying my email so soon.

Ur welcome. Thanx 4 writing 2 me 2.

Call me Karel. Im Dutch. Im working on my master degree. How bout u?

Im just Tara. Im Indonesian. Im struggling with my baccalaureate.

:) :) :) Hey Just Tara .....lol

Thats rite ^_^

Day 2................

Favorite song?

Nope. U?

If. Bread.

Me2

Huh? U said u dont have fav song?!

Hahaha. i just remember it

:) :) :)

Y?

The song?

Yup

It looks like they wrote it 4 me

Day 3................

Karel?

Yea?

How old r u?

25. Single :) :) :) U?

19. Single

Boyfriend?

NO

Really? In ur country?

Yup. No boyfriend. U?

Nope

Oh really?

Yeah. Im straight. No boyfriend hahaha

No serious girlfriends

:'(

Day 4............

Ill tell u a secret though. Theres a girl. I think i like her.

U think?

Yeah :) :) :) Cz i dont know her

How come?

I often see her in the campus garden but ive never talked 2 her

Theres sumthin mysterious bout her that made me interested.

U r wierd!

Hahaha. Im surprised 2, usually im not like this.

Theres always a first time

Day 5.............

Sometimes she just sat there n did nothing. She looked as if she was bout 2 cry.

Didnt she look @ u?

Nahh. I always sit behind the trees. She doesnt seem 2 notice evry1 around her.

Is she pretty?

Shes attractive.

Arent u going 2 talk 2 her? Say hey?

Im afraid she would disappear. She seems so fragile.

Day 6..............

I tried 2 find sum1 @ the campus garden

ive been looking 4 her but shes not there anymore. I quite miss her.

What will u say 2 her if u get a chance 2 talk 2 her

ill ask her 2 b my girlfriend

U barely know her

i know shes my soulmate

Day 7..............

I saw her! I saw her!

Who? Ur girl? Where?

In the garden, just now. Cant talk 2 u now. Ill call u.

Congrats!!!

"Hey im Karel........"

my lips quivered, "Tara"

oh my gosh I've already talked with my mysterious girl. I've shared my feelings with my girl

I bowed. I saw the image cuts across in my eyes. I sat here like having my own world filled with my own sorrow. I struggled 2 breathe the air as much as i can. I tried 2 gather my strength. I tried to forget all the painful memories of romance.

How can i not feel it?

" ive loved u ever since i saw u. Can u imagine how i feel when i found u here?"

I smiled.

Few months after that.........

"Let me make u happy. Let me love u."

He pulled me closer n embraced me. I can feel my tears. Tears of happiness. Now i believe that sumtimes best things happen when not expected.

Inspired by the novel " 2 tokyo 2 love by Mariskova"

Fly me up to where you are beyond the distant star

Once upon a time in the land of nowhere, there were 7 princesses who always talking bout the romantic moments in their life'. I love 2 hear the story cz i like the feeling when i try 2 imagine their romantic moments........

The first princess Riri

My perfect moment is when i was trapped in sadness, he carried me on his back. I can feel his back was so comfortable, guarded me with tenderness .

The second princess Bebe

When i got caught cz of huge mistakes, he stood up 4 me, tried 2 protect me no matter if the bad things might happen 2 him cz of me.

The third princess Yaya

He screamed out loud........" I will always care bout u n i will always b there 4 u no matter what happens between us sumday"

The fourth princess Sisi

When people talked all the bad things bout me, He pulled me closer n held me tight. He said " If u say NO then i believe u so"

The fifth princess Gogo

I had chocolate ice cream . He wanted 2 taste it, he kissed me softly n said " Hmmm, now i know the chocolate tastes so great"

The sixth princess Fefe

He wrote so many love poems 4 me, expressing how much he loves me. U r the music in my life, u r the sun that brightens my day. One of his poems......

T he seventh princess Mimi

Just a simple thing, as long as he'll always b here with me n won't give me a chance 2 miss him. He already completed my days.

Suddenly they stared @ me .......... whats ur romantic moment my dear?

I looked @ the horizon n murmured.......

" If he can bravely tell other people that i am his , the one that he loves , the one that melts his heart......like he always said"

My friends, if uve been tagged on this notes, it means that u have 2 tell us bout ur romantic moments. Let us share all the happiness of the best moment that we have been through in our life.........

Sunrise, sunset, changes right before my eyes, but ur vision stays forever in my heart

I walked along the path, trying 2 remember the meaning of u. The wind blew n i heard the songs spinning in my head. The song which is not just beautiful cz had been sung by a famous singer, but cz the lyrics came from the heart n they can represent u in anyway.

Fist time meeting u............................

I lost myself in fantasies of u n me together, i dont know y but dreaming's all i do,.....upside down bouncing off the ceiling,inside out stranger 2 this feeling, got no clue what i should do.............

First time knowing u............................

Hey hey you you! I dont like ur girlfriend. No way no way! I think u need a new one. Hey hey you you! I could b ur girlfriend....:P

Few months after knowing u.................

Anyone whos seen us, knows whats going on between us, it doesnt take a genius 2 read between the lines n its not just wishful thinking or only me whos dreaming.....I know what these r symptoms of, we could b in love.....

When u said I Love You.......................

Take me 2 ur heart, take me 2 ur soul, give me ur hand before im old, show me what love is, i havent got a clue, show me that wonders can b true.....

When we were in love..........................

Its amazing how u can speak right 2 my heart,.....The smile on ur face let me know that u need me, theres a truth in ur eyes saying ull never leave me. The touch of ur hand says ull catch me wherever i fall.....

Take my hand, take a breath, pull me close n take one step. Keep ur eyes locked on mine n let the music b ur guide.....Its like catching lightning the chances of finding sum1 like u. Its one in the million, the chances of feeling the way we do n with evry step together, we just keep on getting better....

Upside down of our relationship...............

How can i not love u? what do i tell my heart? when do i not want u here in my arms? How does one walk away fr all of the memories? How do i not miss u when u r gone?

Breaking up time................................

I can c the first leaves falling. Its all so yellow n nice. Its so very cold outside like the way im feeling inside. Im a big big girl in a big big world. Its not a big big thing if u leave me but i do do feel that i do do will miss u much.....

Days after breaking up..........................

I close my eyes, dream away.....It must have been love but its over now. It must have been good but i lost it somehow fr the moment we touched till the time had run out.....

Between fear n hope............................

If u could c that im the one who understand u. Been here all along so why cant u c me, u belong with me, u belong with me.....All this time how could u not know baby, u belong with me.....

Sigh!!!..............................................

"Thank 2 A*Teens, Avril Lavigne, Lea Salonga, MLTR, Ronan Keating, HSM3, Joy Enriques, Emilia, Roxette, Taylor Swift.....All ur songs r lovely."

I wont struggle so much 4 i believe best things happen when not expected

Friends, let I whispered to you...the story of a beautiful love

who have touched my heart warms by bringing thousands of taste for the soul

But destiny has a secret...that can not be understood with certainty

love that was stripped from me take all hopes and incised wounds to the lonely soul

I thought i would never have a love again...with the beauty that can make me drift

but fate does have a secret which cant be fully understood

So let's remind you again...bout an old adage that once said

that loving someone does not have to always coupled with having his body

and now i understand...I have even had a new true love

but I know love that i've ever had before will always be a part of memories

and this is my story about the beauty of love

the flickering will live in my heart forever

Rerum cognoscere causas < To learn the causes of things > Fr. Bryan Dyson's speech

Can u imagine that life is like a juggler with 5 balls in the air? U can name that balls as wealth, family, health, friends n spirit. U have to balance them all so they wont fall. But what bout if u have 2 lose one of them?

Let the wealth go, cz wealth is the rubber ball even if u drop it, it will bounce again, while the other 4 balls r glass balls, If u drop them, it will b fatal.

Sumtimes we try so hard 2 keep our wealth n sacrifice our family, health, friends n spirit just 2 save the rubber ball.

Only 4 wealth, some ppl ignore their family, work so hard without thinking of their own health.

Only 4 wealth, some ppl distroy their friendship.

Only 4 wealth, some ppl wanna make it like God.........

But losing wealth, ppl still can find a way 2 get it back again........if u break the glass balls, where can u find them again? Can u buy love fr ur family? Can u buy friendship? Can u enjoy ur life if u r sick?

Its beautiful when God let love grow in our heart

Love is..............

Love is kind

Love is patient

Love is never jealous

Love is never boastful

Love is never proud

Love is never rude

Love isnt selfish

Love isnt quick tempered

Love doesnt keep a record

of wrong that other do

Love rejoices in the truth,

but not in evil

Love is always loyal

Love is always hopeful

Love is always trusting

Love is never fails

(1 Corinthians 13 : 4 - 8)

Our heart tells us only the simple truth

Today i saw a very good looking guy. Ive never been interested in any guys before, but y he can atrract me so deeply?

When i sent flowers that he ordered, i just knew that hes a bro of Lena, my best friend in college. Theres a hope in my heart , yeah maybe, i can see him more often.

But when i saw his fiancee, shes so beautiful. I felt hopeless. I swore, i wont think bout him again.

Tonight i couldnt sleep. I was surprised when my cell rang..........

Joy got robbed n now hes in hospital.

I rushed 2 hospital n met Eva there. Oh gosh, in a time like this.....the only thing she cared bout was her jewelry n i was worried bout Joy's life.

Eva fought with the doctor cz she refused 2 donate her blood. Joy needed transfusion. i was glad when i knew that my blood type was the same as Joy's.

I trembled when i saw blood, but i tried 2 hold on.

I missed him, but i didnt dare 2 visit him in hospital. i didnt want his family 2 overly thank me. Eventhough i couldnt c him but im happy cz my blood was in his whole body now.

Suddenly Eva came 2 my house. She gave me a cheque. I refused her offer. I donated my blood not cz of money but cz i love him.

I really wanted 2 tell Joy that i didnt accept the cheque, but i didnt want 2 ruin his relationship with Eva.

Eva went 2 Japan for 2 weeks. Joy dated me 2 thank me cz i helped him once. I was so happy.

But when Eva was back, she got angry n accused me 4 trying 2 steal her bf. Huft........

Lately Lena kinda stayed away fr me. I found out that Joy was in hospital again. I felt like i wanted 2 fly , wanted 2 b by his side rite away.

The doctor said..... he couldnt walk anymore. He didnt like when i came 2 visit him, he was worried that Eva probably might get mad again. I kept coming 2 visit him n tried 2 avoid Eva as i could.

Today i was really upset.Eva came 2 hospital with her new fiance n returned Joy's engaged ring. I couldnt stand 2 c how sad he was @ that time.

Joy's mom asked me if i wanted 2 b her son's fiancee....with no doubt, i said yes.

We discussed with the doctor bout Joy's legs. Physically he was not sick, so i agreed 2 use Eva's engagement invitation 2 make Joy walking again. We did it.....he walks.

Since he can walk again, Joy couldnt stop saying Eva's name. It hurt badly. I didnt show up in hospital again.

Weird.....i saw Joy's car in front of my college. Without any words, he put our engagement ring in my sweet finger.

Today we were married.

hes been a great husband. Always gets home on time, but hes never touched me. I just knew, he didnt want 2 sleep with sum1 that he doesnt love.

Thats fine with me. I just hope .....with all my love n devotion.....he will love me sumday

One nite, Joy got home late......drunk!!!! After all this time, i still heard he was saying Eva's name. Gosh, i realized now that love cant b forced. Theres nothing left now.

Joy's dad asked bout grandchild. How can i explain 2 him that we've never made love, not even once. Joy's mom took me 2 the doctor 2 check up bout my uterus. What should i do? im still a virgin.

....................................................................

....................................................................

Joy called his doctor. he almost cried when the doctor said....."Amanda has helped u twice, i thought her devotion n her probity already made God touched. U should love her with all ur heart" 

The languages of love

Kiss on the lips = I love you
Kiss on the ear = You are special
Kiss on the nose = Laughter
Kiss on the cheek = Friendship
Kiss on the forehead = I comfort you
Kiss on the neck = I want you
Kiss on the shoulder = You are wonderful
Kiss anywhere else = Be careful.....:P

Playing around with hair = Cant live without you
Holding hands = Happiness
Arms around waist = You are mine / I need you
A hug = I care
Nibble on ear = Start warming.....:P

Smiling @ each other = I like you
Lifting up eyebrows / wink = Flirtation
Looking around = Hiding true feelings
Tender kiss on the side of your lips = You are mine
Wetting your lips = Waiting for a kiss
Tear drop = I'm losing you
Crying = I lost you



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When we two parted in silence n tears

Mia cara, bellisima Lanavera,......My dear, beautiful Lanavera

They said that it is love when all u want is that person 2 b happy, even if u r not part of their happiness. So i guess its truly love that ive been feeling 4 u 4 all i want is 2 c u happy.

I cant give u the kind of love that uve been searching all these times. U deserve sum1 who could b thera 4 u in those coming years n make evry lil details of ur dream comes true. Sum1 who could grow old together with u, laugh with u n wipe ur tears away through good n bad times.

N 4 sum reasons i knew i could never b that person 4 u, Lana. Ur happiness is my only consideration n thats the real reason y i have 2 let u go. Cerca di capire, plz try 2 understand that.....

Just remember that i will always love u 'Ti amo, di un amore che non morira', n plz promise me 1 thing, promise me that ull find ur own true love no matter what happen. Be happy with him, Lana. Be happy 4 me

Arrivederci amore mio.....Goodbye my love

Son tuo sempre.....Im urs always

Fabian

Only Love < Dea's Note in Facebook On Love, Author Ifa Avianty>

Six months after he told me that he has cancer. N evrytime i wake up, the first thing im gonna do is 2 check if hes still alive by my side, then ill praise the Lord while hugging him. Idk how long i can do it again.Giving hug 2 the 1 that i love. Talking 2 him before i go 2 sleep, just like in the movie "when harry met sally", "i want u 2 b the last 1 that i talk 2 before goin 2 bed"

I try 2 enjoy evry moment that i have.....
In my heart, i still believe he can b cured. But im not that tough. I cant imagine my life without him, but then i realized i cant b like this.....evrytime i look @ the face of our foster kids, they still need me as a mom.
Then i saw my love whos keep trying 2 b strong 2.

Never thought, this is gonna b our fate.......
We used 2 b enemies on fb, debating bout books n movies.Then we became employee n the boss who always argue about anythin. God's plans r extraordinary n beautiful. We found such a wonderful babies, twins in the box. I fell in love with them in a second. Then u asked me 2 b their mom......yayyy !!! i got married with the most wanted bachelor in town.

Marriage is not only bout happiness but also learning 2 accept ur love the way he is.....even how bad it is. He was a playboy before n have a baby girl fr another woman. its hurt badly, but the baby is innocent, the adults who made a sin.......i take care the baby 2 as my own child......3 of them now. i feel very grateful.

Im gonna have my own baby.....really cant wait......
OMG, hes a cute baby boy, but i cant hold him, cant warm him.....hes sick, hes dying.I wanna cry out loud begging 4 his mercy so he will save my baby, my own flash. But God has His own plan 4 us......the biggest mystery that weve never understood.I should let him go in peace......I passed out.

Dont feel pity 4 me. U know, learning that ull lose ur love one is always sumthin that u cant easily cope with. When i lost my baby n now my love............
he puked.....n all blood evry where. I guessed its the time. hes in comma then never woke up again. I buried myseld in sadness.......

5 yrs passed.....then i read a letter fr my love. He wanted me 2 find sum1.....the one who can grow old with me. Maybe sumday ......